Why I Blog and Why Blogging Awards Embarrass Me

Back in 2006 & 2007 I wrote blog-like entries on MySpace and Facebook. In 2007-2008, I made a pact with several college friends and we simultaneously started BlogSpot accounts, and in 2010 I turned to Blogger. In 2011 I made the jump to WordPress, and I’ve been here ever since. Each different online writing venue represents a different lifestage for me, and even as my trail of words has followed me around these platforms, I have grown in my voice and in my reasons for writing.

My earliest posts on MySpace were signs of me dipping my toe into the world of writing outside of a classroom. It was those teenage years of experimentation  those years where i first learned what it meant to put myself out there in a way that I thought I could never do in person. Then came the years of emotional turmoil as I attempted to navigate a long-distance relationship, establish my independence, and remind myself that there was more to writing than the expository essays I frequently wrote for my college English classes.

The past year and a half of this blog has simply been my way of documenting what experiences life is bringing me and how I am responding to those experiences. I’ve cooked and baked, taught and crafted, read and provided political commentary. I’ve traveled, complained, celebrated, and lamented. Most recently, I’ve made a deliberate choice to write things that are encouraging and positive as a way to remind myself of the good in life even on the days where I have to take a hard look at the world before I can convince myself that there’s a reason to get out of bed.

After all of these years of me rambling, people still read what I write! It’s amazing to me that people bother reading my posts, and that new people are still discovering this random expression of my life. I’m not posting as much as I once did because quite frankly, I’m more engaged in my real-world life than I was before, and I also don’t have the inspiration to write as often as I did before. I don’t read blogs as often or as thoroughly as I once did, and I’m okay with that. At this point, blogging for me is a testament to where I’ve been and how I’ve gotten to where I am. I keep waiting for the day where I can joyfully announce that I’ve found a full-time career type job and I’m heading off to do great things in the world, but that day has not come yet.

very-inspiring-blogger-awardIn the past two weeks I’ve gotten nominated for two blogging awards – The Leibster Award, and the Inspirational Blogging Award. My heart rose and sank a little for the Leibster Award. It’s an award about travel blogging, and despite my little jaunts to Yosemite and the California Coast in the past few months, I haven’t really traveled in six months. Six months without being on a plane. It makes me sad, and it makes me embarrassed that I don’t have responses to the questions. The Inspirational Blogging Award is one that I feel a little more honest about accepting right now, thought I’m still not sure that I’d award myself the blog.

The thing with these awards is that you’re supposed to answer questions and then pass the award along to anywhere from 3 to 20 more bloggers. And quite honestly? I’m not regularly reading more than a few blogs right now. I don’t have my mandated list of 15 people to pass the awards on to. I can be lame and answer the questions and then just not pass on the awards, but that feels like cheating. Today I was nominated by Lauren at Life on a Branch for the Inspirational Blogger Award, and I’m happy for the nomination, more because it showed me a blog that I’d like to read, and not so much because I’m jumping at the chance to pass the award on. I’m sorry, Lauren, but I can’t forward the award; I’m just not that active in the blogosphere right now.

Thank you all for the nominations and for reading my words, no matter how many years, platforms, or mood swings you’ve followed me through. I’m glad you’re along for the ride, even in the midst of life and it’s crazy twists and turns.

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