Today was a fantastic whirlwind of Seattle. It was a second day in a rainless weekend with a good friend, and the food was just as delicious as the day before. We went on a food tour of Pike’s Place and sampled a variety of well-regarded dishes. We wandered around the city streets and took pictures at landmark and classic tourist hot spots. For the first time in my life, I wanted to be a part of the city. I wanted to eat at these places and live the sort of lifestyle where you walk around and sit in coffee shops and read, where you always look fashionable and you meet up with people for bites to eat and meals to savor. This is crazy because that type of lifestyle is the furthest thing from reality with my daily life right now.

I work out in an unincorporated area assisting individuals to take care of basic needs so that their poverty does not overwhelm them to the point that they cannot make it through another day. They don’t have, and they don’t have the ability to improve their “have not” situation to one where they “have.” I fancy myself the compassionate conservative. I want to help them, to live on little in order to share my time and talent to improve their lives. I propose to live my life in service to others, shaking off the bonds of material things and storing up treasure in the next life instead of this one. But I want nice things. I want to eat tasty food and wear flowy dresses and decorate with fresh flowers. I want to dress up and go to a play, to appreciate a beautiful view, and comment on the latest art and architecture movements. I want to take care of others, but there are elitist inklings inside that pop up every once in a while. I want to be chic because right now it feels like my life is full of cheap. I think there needs to be balance, but I’m not sure where that comes in or when I will find it.