Let the Children Come

Sorry that I’ve been silent. I needed to take some time to process my life internally and get some perspective on where I’m at. I think I got what I needed for now, and life will change a little big next week, so hopefully there will be some inspiration for more creative entries to come. The last month of my life has largely been spent preparing for what is yet to come. Planning for the garden, planning for our after school program. The last week or so, I’ve questioned why I made the decision to come up here. All of this planning time has made it so that I feel like I’m working a desk job with the occasional break for fun paper and decorating projects. I enjoy working in the food bank, but I haven’t been in there all that often since the staff person who runs it came back from vacation. In this time, I am learning about myself.  I know who I am in my character, what is beneficial in my life, and what I need to pursue. Even with all of this knowledge, there’s still the idea that I am pursuing something more than knowledge, more than relationships, more than “success”, in whatever form that may take.

I’ve written about this feeling before: this feeling of waiting. Funny how it seems to pop up again and again even after each waiting period has ended. However, the more times I feel this way, the more I realize that I need to make the most of whatever my days bring so that I don’t feel like I’m waiting for something more in my life. Right now, this time is about building community and appreciating where I am. It’s about investing in the people I’ve met and appreciating the down time that I have had to read and research. It’s also time for me to know that when Monday comes, and the kids show up for their first day of our after school program, I will be ready. I don’t feel ready even with all of the time I have had to prepare, but I know it is time for this waiting to be over. Though this may not actually be true, I am declaring this waiting time to be over and investment time to begin. Next week, I will join a small group at church as they start a 40 Days of Purpose campaign. I will have people over for dinner and games, and I will balance my reading time with some exercise. I’ll be taking care of the kids and taking care of myself. Hopefully, I’ll appreciate a little more the gift of each day.