“You Sound Happy”
If you’ve talked to me lately on the phone or on skype, you’ve probably either thought or voiced the comment, “You sound happy.” And you know what, I am. I think that I can say my transition to this new city is on the downward side, as I’ve now lived here for three weeks. I still need to go see about getting new plates, registration, and a license to drive here, but all good things come in time, right? I’ve survived a week at my new job, and I’m taking the extended weekend for a quick trip up to Canada.
Last year I dutifully followed what I thought was good for me to pursue with my life. I tried really hard to do everything right, but I can honestly say that there are many things I didn’t love about it. Sure, I loved my small group and fellowship times. I loved the friendships that I made with people that I was hardly meeting a year ago (how time flies!), and I loved that I was working with people who had a shared vision to positively influence the next generation. However, I didn’t love having to try to make my personality fit into a position where it simply did not fit. I did not like feeling like I had to be assertive, like I had to manage a room full of people, and where standards dominated my planning. I could leave out the part where I really wanted my students to like me and was afraid of not having their respect, but that’s also probably pretty crucial to note in my narrative of why I did not enjoy student teaching. I went into it saying that I wanted to help the kids learn and to be a positive role model and resource for them. I left simply wanting to be in a place that felt comfortable, where I could autonomously work and develop relationships and provide for the needs of others.
Now, I’m living in a place where I feel comfortable. I am essentially living on my own, as my housemate is rarely home, but I enjoy having this time to myself. I have plenty of time to read, and an awesome library network that allows me to access non-fiction books that no college course would ever select. I have a garden, and I’m surrounded by people who care about caring. It’s beautiful here, and while I’m not making any commitments to staying beyond my service year, I’m enjoying this place now for what it is. I am going to travel more, beginning with this weekend’s trip to Canada with a person whom I haven’t seen in over a year, and who I truthfully don’t know all too well. We had two classes together back in my undergrad days, but she’s only a couple hours away and was up for an adventure, so we’re going. She took the train up to see me, and I need to leave to pick her up soon. Ah, the adventure continues, and so does my joy. Even though I’m far from home, I am well. Thanks for the love & support, friends. I love keeping in touch with you, even if it is through a computer screen and not over a cup of tea (because, no, I still don’t drink coffee).